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She bought me my fifth pair of Crocs today.

I'm a stylish girl.

There is nothing frumpy about me.

I wear pearls and a Tiffany bracelet on a regular basis.

And I love Crocs, which has been established in previous postings here on Xanga.

So those of you who think they're "fugly", or "fat-people shoes", or "frumpy"... yeah, you can just get over it.  I thought they were hideous until I gave in one day about three years ago and tried on a pair (in bright, mustard yellow) and then refused to take them off in spite of myself (and the fact that I was wearing a pink polo and pearls).

I have since purchased a pair in black, a pair of the new Mary Jane ones in bright red, a pair of the brown Capri flip flops, and as of today... the new Virginia Tech ones.  They're maroon with an orange strap, and the VT logo is on the strap.  They also come in orange with a maroon strap... but I figured I'd wear these more.  I'm very excited about them.  Actually, my mum bought them for me.  I guess she saw me kind of eyeing them...

As if that wasn't enough of a "spoiled kid" thing, she went on and bought me two football-shaped Jibbitz (the little charms that you put in the holes).  One for each of them.  She presented them to me while we were still in the mall. 

I sat down immediately and put them on.

If it's possible to fall in love with shoes, I did so on the spot.

Next on the agenda: the Prima.  Then I swear I'll quit.

...although I might want a black pair of the Mary Janes, too...

So I found this list of rules for the ladies, apparently created by long and intense hours of research and development by a panel of men.  The question I pose to you guy-folk is this: are all these generalities true?  I can understand some of them, but in a lot of cases I think there are extenuating circumstances that might nullify the rule in question. 

You're all asking yourselves right now, "Why doesn't she just ask John?  How necessary is this blog, honestly?" Well, my friends, I fully intend to have him review these.  But I'd like to know how everyone else feels about 'em, too!

My "arguments" are in italics. :)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
If it was down originally, put it back down when you're done.  On the flip side, girls, if it was up when you found it, put it back up after you finish and before you wash your hands.

2. Do not cut your hair. Ever.
We're doing everyone a favor by keeping our hair trimmed.  How many adult women have you seen with never-been-cut hair (which for these purposes, we'll consider "never been cut" any length past the waist) that's actually pretty?  Trimming/cutting is what keeps it looking healthy and prevents us from looking like white trash skanks... or hippies.  Apologies if that's your kind of woman...

3. Sometimes, he is not thinking about you. Live with it.
Fair enough.  It's not as though we're thinking about you at all times, either.  In fact, there are times such as when you're sitting on the john paying homage to the porcelain gods, or at a family gathering investigating your great aunt Myrtle's facial hair, that we'd honestly rather you didn't associate the thought of us with.

4. Get rid of your cat.
I'm allergic to cats.  Learn to tolerate my dog.  Tolerance is all that's necessary.  I know she's not overwhelmingly likable.

5. Sunday = Sports.
If that's what floats your boat, that's fine and dandy.  We'll set out some hot wings for you and go buy stuff while you're eating/drinking/cheering/catching your own flatulence on fire.

6. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
Ditto, pal.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
I don't know about that.  In my case, for instance - John's not necessarily a predictable guy, but if I wore hot neon pink spandex pants with a size XXXL Dale Earnhardt shirt with Dorito-cheese all over it from me wiping my hands on myself, I think he'd be at least a little appalled.

8. You have enough clothes.
Even if I'm dressing like that?!

9. You have too many shoes.
You have too many crabs.

10. Crying is blackmail.
"Blackmail" isn't the right term here.  Crying is used unnecessarily and frequently overdone, though.  I'll admit that.  But to give the devil his dues, so is farting in bed.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work.
So that's why I got a weedeater for our eleventeen month anniversary back in Juvember.  Next time I'll be more specific!

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
You got it, duuuuuude.  I'd hate to miss a shot at getting another weedeater!

13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from pointblank range. We are bound to miss sometimes.
Are you kidding me?  The toilet isn't exactly a small target. 

14. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
No man has ever, in the history of the universe, accepted a simple "yes" or "no" syllable as an adequate response. 

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Okay, but while I'm there, please use that time to do some research on how to "do it" effectively. 

16. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.
If you'd do that research, there would be no faking!

17. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Think so?

18. If you do not dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, do not expect us to act like soap opera guys.
I don't want a soap opera guy anyway.  They inevitably cheat, die, turn gay, or get amnesia.  Usually in some combination of any or all of those.  

19. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
Promise?

20. Let us ogle. If we do not look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
It's fairly simple, just look at us.  Look at other women if you like, too.  Just don't touch, if you want to keep your gonads intact.

21. Do not rub the lamp if you do not want the genie to come out.
I'm a genie in a bottle bay-bay, gotta rub me the right way honey... moral to the story: don't use that expression if you don't want us to start singing an old-school Christina Aguilera song.

22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done ... not both.
But what if we ask you and you oblige, but then you ask us how you'd like it done?  That's technically doing both...

23. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
You'll rethink that someday when you inadvertently find yourself in some godforsaken little locale that could pass for the seventh circle of the Inferno.

24. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Women wearing Wonderbras are guilty of false advertising, too.